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On Trying

"I see too many dudes every day who have no idea what they’re doing: guys who have no idea how to dress, how to drive, how to lift weights, how to eat/drink, how to sit, how to listen, how to speak, how to spell, how to write, how to think for themselves, or how to even live their lives.
I very, very rarely meet a fellow gentleman and then later think to myself, “He knows what he’s doing”. That sucks. Now, I don’t claim to know what I’m doing most of the time, but I’m trying. Please try with me."

-suitsandboots

On Working

"Because that's what it takes to do it right. And if you can't do it right, don't do it at all. It's that simple."

-Frank Reese, Heritage Poultry

Confucius. Or Something.

Never give a sword to a man who can't dance. or something.

And remember, no matter where you go, there you are. or something.

Before you embark on a journey of revenge, dig two graves. or something.

Life is really simple, but we insist on making it complicated. or something.

You cannot open a book without learning something. or something.

Memoir - First Draft

birth - age 22
yearning to be in on it

age 22 - age 26
in on it

age 26 - present
pity the former, loath the latter

On Art School

"The people that did well after graduate school all had trust funds."

-J

Born Standing Up

"I spent 18 years doing stand up comedy. Ten years learning, four years refining, and four years of wild success."

-Steve Martin

How to Work Better

1. Do one thing at a time
2. Know the problem
3. Learn to listen
4. learn to ask questions
5. Distinguish sense from nonsense
6. Accept changes as inevitable
7. Admit mistakes
8. Say it simple
9. Be calm
10.Smile

-Fischli & Weiss (1991)

Blowjob